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Location: San Diego, California | I didn't believe the email they just sent: Ms. Hancock: Greetings from New York City. Your readers may like to know that The Avocado Papers is now selling, for US$1.75 per word, professionally crafted, ready-made opening paragraphs suitable for novels, short stories, etc. The Avocado Papers offers a wide selection of paragraphs, suitable for almost any plot/theme/etc. Please do enjoy: http://www.theavocadopapers.com/content/firstparagraphs/index.jsp Best regards, The Avocado Papers. http://www.theavocadopapers.com/ http://theavocadopapers.typepad.com/ So I checked out the blog, and then the website, up to the point of activating my PayPal account to be charged for a graf that cost over $400! Given the blog's content, I felt certain this is satire, but who knows, someone will probably be foolish enough to buy their wares. Be sure to read the rights offered, too.
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Expert
Posts: 4060
Location: Somewhere Over the Rainbow... | Georganna: That is a really strange webisite. Why would anyone want to buy opening paragraphs, and for the outrageous prices they have? Oh, I see- you can buy the opening paragraphs and use them in your own writng. All I can say is that avacado can go straight down the garbage disposal.... |
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Posts: 3415
Location: The second left from Nowhere | Example 2...are they kidding? They so need to stop with the run on sentences, shorten it up. Katherine was neurotic. Aspiring to be the first "Walter Mitty" serial killer, she forced her long suffering husband Paul to participate in her bizarre antics. Fits of screaming "Play dead " so confused the family dog, she took her own life. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 328
| If it's satire, it's not bad. I chuckled a few times. Would I buy anything from them? No. |
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Location: Connecticut | For a buck seventy-five it better be concise!-DavidG |
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Posts: 4060
Location: Somewhere Over the Rainbow... | If it's satire, then are they REALLY selling? What I mean is- is there some silly joke by the time you get to the checkout counter or something? I don't think I want to find out. |
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Posts: 1278
Location: Overlooking the mitten | A quote from their website:
"Writing is hard. Stringing letters together to make words? Hard. Grouping those into meaningful sentences? Harder. But the hardest part? Ask any successful novelist: the hardest part is writing the opening paragraph. And the first paragraph is crucial: without it, by definition there can be no second paragraph. Without a second, there can be no third. Without a third, there can be no fourth. (And so on.) Consider how many paragraphs the average novel has (some of the long ones have thousands), and perhaps you'll understand why the lack of a first paragraph is a very serious lack indeed."
End of Quote
If this is you, save your money and become a florist. |
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Location: Southwest Virginia | Sounds to me like we're just all in the wrong business.... |
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Posts: 3349
Location: Texas Hill Country | That's hilarious! |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 834
| Do you think this is in an installment plan, next month buy a second paragraph?
I can see it now, the third month special is a two for one -- buy the third and fourth paragraphs for the price of one. Then a Back-to-school paragraph sale....
Maybe they would have a discount package where the paragraph would have no punctuation.
Edited by spring4321 2008-07-18 10:30 AM
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Veteran
Posts: 105
| Is the f-word available at a discount? Or would that be Premium? If it's Premium, I'll just use frickin. |
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Posts: 3342
Location: Southwestern Virginia | Relax folks. It is a humor/satire site. Not that they wouldn't take your money if you really want to pay, but it's all just in fun; albeit the 'fun' is often at your expense. |
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Posts: 7004
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico | I imagine "flippin" would be cheaper than fricken. That sounds too much like fried chicken which causes clogged arteries, so they'll charge you more for that kind of heavy word. |
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Location: San Diego, California | "Flippin'" sounds too much like MacDonald's! Talk about artery-clogging and gut busting! Anyhoo, John, how do you know it's just satire? As I mentioned, PayPal is quite willing to debit my credit card for the amounts the site lists in their rent-a-graf scam. Given the desperation I've witnessed from many, many people who want to be published writers, I wouldn't at all be surprised to learn they've made tons of moolah. Just last month a woman showed me her lovely photo-filled "book" she'd had "published" through an online outfit and wanted me to guide her in getting it out to the world (to recoup her investment). This is an outfit that just prints one mockup of a book for Big Lots of money. She thought she was now a published author. I felt like crying. |
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Veteran
Posts: 105
| Georganna - 2008-07-18 7:41 PM
Given the desperation I've witnessed from many, many people who want to be published writers, I wouldn't at all be surprised to learn they've made tons of moolah.
I'm just bitter because I didn't think of it. |
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WOULD YOU BUY THESE WORDS?
