|
|
Elite Veteran
Posts: 836
  
Location: Inside the Writer's Digest office | In every issue in Writer's Digest's InkWell section, we pose a thought-provoking question related to the writing life. In the October issue, Melissa Hart writes about the challenges of coping with reader criticism:
http://www.writersdigest.com/article/surviving-the-spite/
What’s the worst criticism you’ve ever received from the public? How’d you respond, and what did you learn from the experience?
To be part of our monthly Conversation, post your response here by hitting the "reply" button. A few responses may be selected to run in a future "WD" e-newsletter. |
|
| |
|
Expert
Posts: 1261
Location: Wouldn't you like to know, stalker. | "You are perhaps the worst writer, ever."
I responded: "I hate you, mom!" and slammed the door to the basement. |
|
| |
|
Expert
Posts: 4686
Location: Raxicoricofallapatorious | Even though I'm not done my novel my semi-friends have even been nasty to me. Once one of them said, "Ya know writing isn't even worth your time." Oh boy was she wrong. Sarah Jane  |
|
| |
|
Expert
Posts: 4538
Location: It depends. | "So where's the originality?"
Honestly, I'm not very good at taking criticism, but I suck up a lot and try to listen as well as I can. This one, though, was just a little over the edge. Totally off, if I must clarify. |
|
| |
|
Expert
Posts: 2086
| Seriouslly--I once got a rejection from a FANTASY publication stating: Stories like this are why I stopped reading fantasy.
Huh? It took a while but eventually I had to laugh. |
|
| |
|
Location: At my wit's end | "For someone who WANTS to be a writer, you sure need to work on your communication skills." My response: I'm currently working on my communication skills. |
|
| |
|
Expert
Posts: 6932
| I showed one of my first stories to a critique group, one with pro writers in it, along with a number of amateurs. The unanimous decision was that the story was awful, and stood no chance of being published. Some very nasty comments were tossed in.
The story, unchanged, sold to a national glossy for $1,000, and then reprint rights sold to a second large magazine.
Criticism? Bah, humbug. Trust your gut. |
|
| |
|
Expert
Posts: 6979
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico | Over the years I've been told that I sucked as a writer, that a specific piece I wrote was #@$%#, and that I was an idiot of a writer. But I have to remember that I chose a profession which puts myself in the public eye, so I take it in stride. When it's an editor, I filter through the language to figure out what I need to change in the piece; when it's an acquaintance, I smile, thank them for the feedback and change the subject. I also have to remember the wonderful, kind things that people have said to me over the years; it balances out. |
|
| |
|
Expert
Posts: 2086
| My own attitude when it's an editor is that I change it after I get the contract and check.  |
|
| |
|
Member
Posts: 34
Location: Houston | When I was a freshman in college, I wrote my very first opinion piece--a review of the school play. I attended and thought it was one of the lamest plays I'd ever seen. Although many other agreed with me, the week after the review ran in the paper my editor received a letter from the play's actors (obviously) who said I was wrong and a horrible journalist.
At first I really took it to heart and decided I was never writing another review again. But after a couple days and after talking with my editor, I learned that everyone is allowed to have an opinion, and if the tables were turned and I had been in the play, I'm sure I would've reacted the same way to a negative review.
Lesson learned. I ended up taking an opinion writing course the next semester, thou, just to make sure I was doing a good job as a reviewer. |
|
| |
|
Expert
Posts: 1461
| Criticism from - and for - some of the greats:
'He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.' - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
'Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?' - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
'Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it.' - Moses Hadas
'He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.' - Abraham Lincoln
|
|
| |
|
Veteran
Posts: 233
Location: just let me check... | When I was in my early twenties I bravely submitted my first piece to a magazine I admired. The editor rejected it and said that it was 'trite and unoriginal'. I was shattered and decided I didn't have what it takes. I lived in a country town and didn't have any access to information about writing - no writers' groups, no classes, no mentor etc. Many years later, I finally learned that the editor's page-long rejection was actually a really good one. I recently reread it (yes, I kept it) and realised he also said a lot of good stuff. It was my insecurity that honed in on the negatives.
You've got to trust yourself and keep at it. |
|
| |
|
New User
Posts: 3
| That's funny!! |
|
| |
|
New User
Posts: 3
| So Sorry. I thought the reply I just sent would be connected to the writer who wrote that someone said "You're the worst writer in the world." and it was his Mom. Now, that was funny. Hey dude, looks like you're a good writer to me. |
|
| |
|
New User
Posts: 3
| While reading "Surviving the Spite" (October) I kept thinking about the first person who approached the table at my first book signing. The woman picked up my book, The Legend of Papa Noel: A Cajun Christmas Story and took her time looking it over. I thought she was going to ask me to sign the book for her, but instead, she grimaced and said, "Hmph! Terri Hoover Dunham, what would you know about Cajuns?" I was so taken aback by her remark and the look on her face, it took me a second to gather my wits. At first, I wanted to spit an equally nasty remark right back at her. Then, I thought about going into a lengthy discussion of my family tree, as if I needed to defend myself for writing a Cajun book. But I finally decided to give her a short explanation. "My Cajun lineage is on my mother's side." She seemed thoroughly disappointed that I answered calmly, that I didn't fall apart. Then she looked me right in the eyes and said, "Well!" and she stormed off.
Sometimes you encounter people who think it's their job to make you miserable. Don't let them! I won't allow a negative experience overshadow all of the nice comments I've received about my writing.
|
|
| |
|
Veteran
Posts: 115
| When my mother's angry, she tends to say things she doesn't mean. I typed somethign exactly as she wanted it and she got mad when it didn't come out like she wanted. "You can't even type up something that someone else has written up right and recognize the errors. I hope your writing isn't like that. Full of mistakes and typos," she said. I glad it was over the phone. I just hung up on her. It wasn't my job to revise what she wrote and even if it was, I always wait a few days or weeks before I start revisin my things.
That didn't stop me though. She was just frustrated. I brushed it off. People have said a lot worse... |
|
| |
|
Expert
Posts: 1261
Location: Wouldn't you like to know, stalker. | My mother criticised my writing once....once. |
|
| |
|
Expert
Posts: 1278
Location: Overlooking the mitten | Raymond, First: Are you for hire the next time I receive a rejection?
Second: Is your mother by chance the editor of a magazine that I sent a story to? She sounds very familiar. My criticism story is from my field of journalism. A man wrote in, calling me, "a wolf in blond haired, blue eyed Shirley Temple clothing." I don't know what his complaint was about...I filed down my teeth that day.
Edited by Kirby 2008-08-24 6:07 PM
|
|
| |
|
Member
Posts: 22
Location: America's Heartland | I wrote a nonfiction book that was rejected by 63 publishers, so I self-published it. A year later, after having sent individual emails and letters to over 1,500 potential readers, I've sold.... two copies.
Actually, there has been no criticism received; just utter silence.
Many publishers did send courteous rejection letters, though.
My response? Dejection. What I've learned from it? I don't know yet. |
|
| |
|
New User
Posts: 4
Location: Rochester, NY | I teach a class on "Getting Started in Editorial Freelancing" that usually gets very good reviews, but one person wrote a really nasty comment about it to the host organization recently. I was devastated, because I put a lot of effort and experience into these workshops, but my organization contact wrote back to say I shouldn't worry about one negative comment when everyone else was so pleased with the program. And that the complainer wasn't getting her money back! I re-read all the nice, appreciative evaluations to reassure myself that all was well. It's amazing how one mean remark can be hurtful enough to override a dozen positive comments. Must have something to do with the lingering effects of grade-school bullying. |
|
| |
|
Member
Posts: 34
| I've learned to accept criticism with a grain of salt. It's been MY experience that whenever someone attacks me, it usually means I've done my job and been so successful at communicating my point, it ruffled some feathers. Either that, or I just flat don't appeal to them. Either way, that's ok. I can't please everybody all of the time, so I try to consider the source of the criticism. If it is from a respected source, only THEN do I re-evaluate my work. Sometimes, I end up deciding they may have a point, they just didn't go about it in a "constructive" manner, and other times, I choose to adopt the attitude that I don't care. Either way, I win. I'm constantly striving for improvement. It's all about perspective. I make the conscious choice not to let criticism get the better of me. |
|
| |
|
Veteran
Posts: 102
Location: Baltimore, MD | Great answer rythm dancer!! We shouldn't begin to reevaluate our work every time someone criticizes because many times it is just because we have "ruffled feathers" or just plain jealousy in some cases.... But, when it is coming from a respected source, criticism should be seriously taken into account but nevertheless the choice remains with the writer. The writer must never become someone else for any human being, no matter who they are. 
http://www.peacebeginshere.wetpaint.com
Edited by heathermoreland 2008-08-28 9:50 AM
|
|
| |
|
New User
Posts: 3
| I think the worst review I've gotten was no review at all. A "friend" of mine came to visit my office for no particular reason and we were just hanging out and shootin' the breeze. I had printed out the first two chapters of my latest effort and asked him to take a look at them and share his honest, unbiased opinion. He took a seat and I went back to work as he read. Around ten minutes past and I was lost in my writing as he got up and said, "Well, I've got to get going Joe, I'll have to finish this later." Now I can take criticism, good or bad as well as anyone, but that silence really disturbed me for a while. I finally mentioned it to him and he smiled and said, "No offense meant, I'm just not a western fan." Made me feel a bit better... I think Best, Joe
Edited by jrprimm 2008-09-27 4:38 PM
|
|
| |
|
Extreme Veteran
Posts: 584
Location: St. Louis, MO | Quote - "Over the years I've been told that I sucked as a writer, that a specific piece I wrote was #@$%#, and that I was an idiot of a writer."
You believed me when I said that???
Jeff C |
|
| |
|
Expert
Posts: 6979
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico | leikec - 2008-08-28 7:18 PM
Quote - "Over the years I've been told that I sucked as a writer, that a specific piece I wrote was #@$%#, and that I was an idiot of a writer."
You believed me when I said that???
Jeff C
You mean you didn't mean it? And here I've enrolled in the churro making class at Taco Bell. |
|
| |
Surviving Criticism
