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Expert
Posts: 1439
  
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico | Someone reminded me today of that bad poetry thread we had for a while. It was a lot of fun, so I thought I'd start 'er up again. But, oh dear, that means I owe y'all a poem to start with. But a bad one, so it's cool. Poems, poems, the musical verse the more I write, the worse (oh curse!) I try so hard to make a rhyme And yet I fail, every day  Next?
Edited by pegs 2009-01-12 12:55 AM
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Veteran
Posts: 189
| I tried to write a poem
but it just wasn't flowing
so I smashed my computer
and went to Hooters
At the bar I was a star
but I think I went to far
because I said something silly and
fought with a hillbilly
Now I back to the rhyme
cus, I sitting here doing time
Edited by Johnny Switchblade 2009-01-11 10:06 PM
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Expert
Posts: 1298
Location: At my wit's end | Poetry Shmoetry,
why do I try?
I'd rather eat stink bugs,
get poked in the eye,
than to think up another
poetic verse
fortunately here
I can do it worse! |
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Expert
Posts: 1951
Location: Southeastern Indiana | That old thread died, yes it's true
Like a bat in the chimney, it went up the flue
Reading all that horrible verse
T'was worse than riding back seat in a hearse
But Pegs we are missing all our old crew
Sarah Jane seems taken away
Wordsmith is silent, and by the way
Mustang Rider seems to have galloped on
And Ladaway also seems to be quite gone
Others there were, all gone by the way
So if this thread is to surface again
We'll need the help of many a new friend.
And the bad bards can sit 'round the fire
And seriously, imperiously raise the ire
of the good poets who inhabit the poetry den
That little thread was fun while it lasted
And all rules of poetry got thoroughly blasted
While Keats and Browning and Shakespear
Rolled in their graves and quivered in fear
While we took their art and soundly trashed it
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Expert
Posts: 6090
Location: Heavenly Places | Rhyming scheme AAAA Eh?
He wasn't fickle
Just loved a tickle
While eating a pickle
With juice that did trickle
Up his sleeves!
Elizabeth
PS you lot had me rolling on the floor laughing. |
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Expert
Posts: 1951
Location: Southeastern Indiana | Just the ticket we need
rhyme that makes the eyes bleed
That makes the head jar
And fills the ears with tar
And makes all our cats wish by hounds they were treed
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Expert
Posts: 1439
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico | G-Girl - 2009-01-11 7:41 PM Poetry Shmoetry, why do I try? I'd rather eat stink bugs, get poked in the eye, than to think up another poetic verse fortunately here I can do it worse! I like this, G-Girl! It has meter!
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1031
| For Emily D
I felt a cleavage twixt my thighs;
I wondered what i 'twas.
I looked, and lo! to my surprise
I spied a bit of fuzz..
Edited by kerrymichaelwood 2009-01-12 11:40 AM
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Expert
Posts: 1266
| Kerry, Kerry, I wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole For fear t'would find in that cleavage fold Fuzz you say (me thinks twas not the goal) Something more precious twas what he stole. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1031
| L,
I meant twixt not twist. Fixed that. Keywords, obviously, are lo and 'twas. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 610
Location: a little to the left um.. watch out for the monkey | I once tried to write a poem all I got was boredom I'm so bad It made me mad I gave it a kick in the pants
Edited by angeleyes 2009-01-12 12:17 PM
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Expert
Posts: 1951
Location: Southeastern Indiana | We try to write poetry too
And all we get is verbal goo
Its really quite sad
That it turns out so bad
And it makes me feel oh so blue |
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Expert
Posts: 1298
Location: At my wit's end | pegs - 2009-01-11 9:53 PM
I like this, G-Girl! It has meter!
I'm sorry...I'll do worse next time. |
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Veteran
Posts: 252
Location: Denial | Did you ever wonder where a booger came from? It crawled out of your brain and turned to gum. A sudden wind it’s blown out in a sneeze. And it land on a flake of pizza cheese. A hand picks it up and it goes for a ride It sees a mouth and goes back inside. And now the booger has been swallowed. The digestive tract is what it followed. Through the stomach and into the gut. Going all the way no matter what. The booger can now be described in one word Our friend is officially now a turd. It lands in the toilet with a splash and flush. And goes to the sewer and turns to mush. written on the back of an IHOP placemat circa 1985 |
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Expert
Posts: 1439
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico | A metered poem can be worse
than any other kind of verse
So G girl, worry not, my friend
Your poet stint will never end
As long as you keep rhyming here
the laureates have naught to fear
for we are worse than they could dream
in fact our poems would make them scream
and rend their hair and rant and rave
run screaming into frothy waves
give up their pens, throw down the scroll
renounce the craft, crawl in a hole
and who is left? the poets dread
with silly verses in our heads
the art is doomed, we'll sink, not swim
but as we do, we'll laugh, by Jim!
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Expert
Posts: 1298
Location: At my wit's end | I'll meter all the live-long day
I'll meter when I hit the hay
I'll meter when I park the car
I'll meter near, I'll meter far
I'll meter more than anyone
I'll write the worstest meter pun
I'll prove that meter can be worse
than any other sort of verse
so thank you, Pegs, for the o.k.
I'll meter more another day
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Expert
Posts: 1284
Location: Mississippi's armpit | I have no idea what this "meter" means Attempting this crap again it seems Never been good at poetry, ya know But this is the place to let it show. |
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Expert
Posts: 1298
Location: At my wit's end | Excellent meter Nerd |
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Expert
Posts: 6090
Location: Heavenly Places | A couplet
Nerd got is meter read
Excellent! is wot was said!
Elizabeth
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Expert
Posts: 1439
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico | a triplet in waltz meter
Elizabeth's couplet is poetry true
And G-girl's got meter, why Supernerd too!
This triplet is tricky to end! Help! Can you? |
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Expert
Posts: 1284
Location: Mississippi's armpit | Thanks a lot! (It's all I got.) |
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Expert
Posts: 1439
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico | wondo - 2009-01-12 11:55 AM
We try to write poetry too
And all we get is verbal goo
Its really quite sad
That it turns out so bad
And it makes me feel oh so blue
A limerick writer you are
This gooey creation goes far
You better watch out
The scouts are about
They'll make you the next Poet Star!
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Expert
Posts: 1951
Location: Southeastern Indiana | Limericks are what I write
So bad they may cause a fight
I sit here on my can
Rhyming up a storm, oh man
Here's another, it is such a fright |
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Expert
Posts: 1951
Location: Southeastern Indiana | The snow lies white on frozen ground
The howling winds the only sound
As snowflakes flee before its thrust
And gather on the ground like dust
Covering the earth all around
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Expert
Posts: 6090
Location: Heavenly Places | wondo - 2009-01-14 9:49 PM
The snow lies white on frozen ground
The howling winds the only sound
As snowflakes flee before its thrust
And gather on the ground like dust
Covering the earth all around
I swear that dog's going to the pound!
Red Rover come over!
Now don't hang about!
Don't make me come get you!
or whistle and shout!
It's cold and it's icy, I'm freezing to death
Get in here you fleebag
I'm not coming out!
Elizabeth
PS No animals were harmed in the commission of this masterpiece |
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Dread Poets Society
