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Elite Veteran
Posts: 836
  
Location: Inside the Writer's Digest office | Write about a car negotiation from the perspective of the car.
You can post your response (500 words or fewer) here.
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Member
Posts: 5
| Is this where I write my contest entry or where I contact you??? I just signed up to your magizine and news letters and have begun entering contest, but am very confused about how to submit and where to submit entries. I entered the contest 20 prompt but my story was not accepted or read because I submitted it in the wrong format, or as an attachment. My real question is...is there any way to know if you receive my future entries??? I just got a computer and have choosen readers digest to be my way to become a writer, by entering every contest. Thank you! | |
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Member
Posts: 5
| Hey everyone my name is Kamann Ghia and I'm here at Larry's Used Cars where a giant sign reads, "Every buy ends with a smile."
Richard is-- well, was my best friend for the last forty-one years, nine months, seven days, four hours, thirty-seven minutes, and ten, no, twelve seconds, but now all of a sudden, I'm not good enough for him anymore. So what. My blue skin may have faded a bit, but now my heart has turned blue and it won't fade.
I mean how could he just turn his back on me. I was there for his first date, first kiss, first feel up, first blow job, first time he made love, for Gods sakes, I drove his new born baby boy home from the hospital, and did so safely. What do I get? Just listen to his punk ass.
"Shit Larry I know it's a piece of crap but you can do better than that."
"Tell ya wat Rick-- can I cal ya's Rick?"
"It's actually Richard but you can call me Rich."
"Gret Ric tell ya wat-- you take that 01 Nissan there and I'll git ya---eight."
"Okay deal."
"Gret let's git them contrcts signed. Faller me."
His name is Dick by the way. And just like that he walked out of my life forever. I am still in shock that he could just do that and leave me for dead. That's right they're gonna tear me limb from limb, bit by bit, day by day, until I exsist no more and the Dick didn't even stop to say good bye.
"Oh my God Dad look at this car."
"Holy crap a Karmann Ghia. Damn I haven't seen one of these for a thousand years."
"It looks dead."
"A bit sad maybe, but shit, with a little love-- some tires-- a muffler-- a nice fresh coat of paint-- and I think it'll be alright. Probably gets great gas milage."
"You gonna buy it dad?"
"Yeah. Yes! I want it.
Well what do you know, good ole Larry's sign was right, "Every sale does end with a smile."
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Member
Posts: 9
| I can't believe it; she's going to sell me. I've been the most loyal car she's ever had. I was right there when she was desperate for a car, and she had the $900 to buy me. She named me "Fortune" because there were no glitches involved in buying me. I am an '86 Honda Civic and have never let her down. I was there when she was on that medication that made her loopy. She couldn't turn fast enough and ran me into every guard rail where she turned. She always hit something when she backed up. I had lots of cheap body work done--never did get a rear bumper--including having to get a side view mirror when she ran me by the mailbox complex. I didn't stop running through all our tribulations, and she said she loved me. She referred to me as "Fortune," not "my car."
For a few years, after she stopped taking the medicine she treasured me except for washing and vacuuming. She hated to do that, but she changed my oil regularly and took me in for checkups once in awhile. Our latest escapade occurred almost a year ago when she, in a dream state, backed me into the trailer hitch of her fifth wheel. I lost my back window.
Her mechanic, who always sat in me with greasy hands and clothes, said he could put another window in, and she paid him up front for the part, $100. He cleaned up all the glass and straightened my frame, but he malingered and evaded actually putting the window in. We endured the snowy and rainy winter without a back window. He kept saying he would do it tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow. All this time he kept asking for money for this detail and that detail. She ended up paying him $455! She could have had the work done in a day for half that price at these pricey glass companies in town.
Finally, after seven months passed she told him to forget it and pay her back the money. She intended to take it and get it done fast and fairly inexpensively at a glass company in a nearby city. But. . .he never paid her back. He kept saying he would, but he never did. After awhile she had to accept that he never would.
At that time, friends of hers offered to sell her their '91 Toyota Camry that had a rebuilt engine in it and had just had a $2,000 overhaul because they thought they would keep it. Because she was a friend they sold it to her for low Blue Book of $1,000, money that she had been saving, and she bought it. I was heartbroken yet surprisingly relieved. I needed a rest. She didn't know what to do with me so she just left me parked at home.
Until. . .Sandi decided she wanted to buy me to take her back and forth to school. Ginny told her that besides not having a back window she didn't think I had much lifetime left. How would she know? Sandi insisted, though, because Ginny was only charging $300 for me. I saw this as an insult. I was invaluable. Ginny planned to take $100 from the $300 and have me smogged, but her same mechanic said I wasn't worth making ready to smog. I needed a new EGR valve and something else. How dare he say that about me!
Ginny told Sandi that she would try to get her same mechanic to replace these parts by deducting the cost of parts and labor from the money he owed her. Knowing he was in the wrong about holding onto her money, he grudgingly agreed.
And that's where I am today, sitting in the mechanic's lot waiting for him to put his greasy hands under my hood. | |
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New User
Posts: 2
| Oh man, here they come. Look busy, look busy! No, keep going, no, no....oh, here we go. I've seen it happen to those other guys. Buyer comes in belittles the car they WANT to devalue it, haggle the price to the penny and drive off. Talk about a self-esteem crusher!
Well, I'm not going out like that! I'm not playing that game! Look at me! look at this shine, feel my soft, plush leather seats! Yes, real leather seats with a double-stitched seam. Did I mention their heated? Yes, that is a power sunroof and yes that is real privacy glass! I've got navigation system and a sensor that will even tell you when my tires need air.
Look, let's be real here, I didn't come poking around at your house. I didn't say your hair looks greasy or mention that huge zit on your forehead. YOU came here looking for ME. There is no reason to pay any less then what my sticker says. This bozo better not come down on my price! I mean really! Anybody would be lucky to park me in their driveway. Can you say spike in property value? Remember, it's not polite to stare unless there staring at you sitting behind my wheel.
Whoa, buddy chill on the negotiating! Did, I mention I come with a bumper to bumper warranty? You haven't even driven me yet. See those gas prices? Don't worry about it, I have excellent gas mileage! Like I said, see that sticker? See that price? Once you drive me you'll fall in love! Feel that steering, do you like how it grips the road? And that suspension, smooth and quiet. My A/C is chilly cold all year long! See, I told you! driving me is to love me.
No more negotiating. I'm no ordinary clunker. I know what I'm talking about here.
Hey, where....where you going? Color? What do you mean, "Do you have another color?" What's wrong with mine?
Hey, hey.....come back!
Edited by spalum 2009-09-16 12:52 AM
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Veteran
Posts: 190
Location: swamps o' Florida | Alone, but surrounded by a hundred other cars like me. Each of us hoping and praying, to find the right owner. Other cars tell me if they don’t like a prospective buyer then they act up, cough and sputter, refuse to turn properly.
I miss the good old days. I miss Nancy and Toby. Alright well, Toby did pee in me once, but he was only two and he soaked his diaper right through. I miss their giggles, I miss them kicking the back of my seats and falling asleep with their heads nestled on my window frames.
I still have their gum tucked under my seats, their shiny little baby hairs have found their way into the very depths of my upholstery.
I have waited so long and now a nice lady wants to drive me, she has a baby with her and she loads the baby seat in.
I drive so nicely, turn beautifully, accelerate smoothly. She is impressed.
That idiot salesman is giving her the runaround. I wish she had brought a man with her, this idiot is trying to take advantage of her. The sun is going down, she goes home. The lights in the lot are shut off. I wait, hoping for a miracle.
The next day, a young aggressive teen gives me a test drive. I began to stall… he lost interest in me.
Late in the day the lady is back, with her Dad. Again, I drive beautifully. The Dad is in no mood for the idiot’s games. He strikes a deal. I see them shaking hands! I am so happy! Baby giggles! La la made-up baby songs! Silly car games! So much better than the sexy ladies who drive while applying makeup and sell their car when something sexier to drive comes along.
So much better than an owner who has dreams of Nascar.
I am so happy I silently vow to myself to give it my all, try to not break down in an unsafe location, to faithfully start every morning. I managed to kick out the nest of baby spiders forming in the glove box, when the lady checked the heater on me I saw my chance to vaporize them.
I am the family car who can’t wait to be part of their family. I am ready to go!
Edited by Neets 2009-09-16 10:25 AM
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New User
Posts: 2
Location: Flint, Michigan | Man! I am sooooo bored! Ray parked me here in his front yard weeks ago and hasn't driven me anywhere since. He's been tooling around in that flashy, young red sportscar. So I'm older! So what?!? I'm still good. I can still go fast. Why doesn't he want to drive me anymore? We've been together for a very long time. He's the one that took me away from that big cement yard with so many others that looked just like me. I think he must have liked my color better than those others.
A few weeks ago he parked me here and put a piece of cardboard on my dashboard. Now I've been sitting here for so long the grass is tickling my underside. He hasn't even moved me to let his son mow the grass here. His son just mows around me. And I'm not asking HIM to mow under me. He's the one that borrowed me from his dad one night a few years ago and parked me in a very muddy place to spend time with his date. I thought it was bad enough that he got that mud all over my pretty tires, but the things he did inside before he took me home, UGH!
Hey, who are these people he's bringing over here. they are touching me all over. Hey! That tickles! Maybe they're gonna take me for a drive. Finally! Ray's starting up my motor! Growl! Purr! Wow, that feels so good! Wait a minute. Ray, why are you getting out? You can't drive from the outside. He's opening my hood! Yikes! He's baring my motor to these strangers! How embarrassing! I feel so violated!
Okay, He's closing my hood again. Dignity restored! Whoa! He's letting this other guy get behind my wheel. Ray, that's your spot, not his. Whats that this other guy is giving him. Wow, that looks like a lot of money! Hmmm, the other guy's woman obviously isn't happy with him. She's getting into their car and leaving without him. I wonder if Ray is gonna give him a ride home. Hey! Ray is heading back to his house and this stranger is putting me in gear! What the Hell!!! Ray! He's stealing me! He's driving me away from my home! Ray, why are you just waving? Don't you care that this stranger is driving me?
At last, he's pulling off the road. This guy is not like Ray at all! He pushed my gas pedal to the floor and drove me very fast and hard almost all the way here. And that after being parked for weeks! Man, I'm tired. He's parking me inside a garage. Hey, that's his woman's car next to me. This must be their home. How will Ray ever find me? Wait a minute! Where are you going? He's going into the house and turning off the light. It's so doark in here!
Oh, Ray, How could you have done this to me? | |
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Member
Posts: 10
| Alan steered the sleek, new, sparkling silver convertible into the parking lot of the Audi dealership and eased into the empty space next to a bright red SUV. He turned toward the man sitting in the passenger seat. "Let's talk," Alan said.
The passenger unlatched his door, setting one foot on the hot asphalt and nodding toward the glass-paneled building. "My office is right inside," he said. The men walked away, engaged in chatter.
"Hey there, Stardust," the SUV said to the car.
"Ooooh, Big Red," the car purred, "What a test drive!"
"You leaving us then?" Big Red asked.
"With him," Stardust sighed, "I sure hope so." Big Red's size blocked Stardust's view of the two men as they disappeared into the building. "He was so great on the controls, you know? I can't begin to describe how it felt when his hands caressed my dashboard, and when his feet pumped my pedals, my engine was racing, I'll tell you."
"Hey," Big Red said, "I think they're coming back out."
"Coming this way?"
"Yeah, looks like they've got some papers too."
"Oh my," Stardust said, "How do I look? Am I blushing?"
"Well, a little," Big Red said. "But maybe they'll think it's just my reflection on you."
"I'm so nervous . . ."
"Shhh," Big Red said, "Here they come."
Alan and the salesman approached Stardust and examined the MSRP sticker posted in the rear passenger side window. "Well," Alan said, "I could do without the electric seat heaters for one thing. That cost could go."
Stardust rocked imperceptibly. "That's right, honey," the car whispered, "I'll keep you warm."
Alan pointed to the typed list. "And these other extras," he said, "I'd rather not have them, really."
The salesman squinted to read the details. He scribbled some notes on the paper he held, made some rough calculations, and circled a number with his pencil. "I could drop the price by this much," he said, showing the amount to Alan.
"I see," Alan said.
Oh please, oh please, oh please, Stardust silently willed.
Alan paced around the car, gliding his hands over the paint. He stepped back.
Oh please, oh please, . . .
"Okay," Alan said. "Where do I sign?"
Yippee!!!!
As the two men returned to the building, Big Red confided to Stardust, "He's trying to bargain for you."
"He's negotiating," Stardust said.
"He's trying to lower your value."
"He's trying to lower my price."
"He doesn't want to buy your adornments."
"He sees the real me!"
"How do you know he's the one?"
"Not once did he kick my tires."
"I know," Big Red said. "I was just testing you." The SUV sighed. "From where I stand I watch shoppers all day long. I just wish someone would stop and give me a look."
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Member
Posts: 12
| Write about a car negotiation from the perspective of the car.
In these days of recession, it requires some boldness for taking a decision to purchase a car.First of all I had become a little bit status conscious, because I had been in a profession for the past ten years that requires a lot of patience as well as perseverance to deal with my clients. Once you have a particular standing in your profession, it requires some get up befitting your profession. Otherwise, your clients may not have due respect for you. Secondly, as I was getting aged day by day, I was fed up with the overcrowding that I find and come across everywhere. Hence, I was craving for some sort of privacy. Thirdly, most of my close relatives were having a car. Fourthly, having suffered throughout my life, I had decided to get relieved at least from my physical as well as mental sufferings to some extent. Hence, for the past few months I had been toying with the idea of purchasing a car.
Now I had to decide, whether I had to purchase a new car or an used car.Again I had put myself in a dilemma. Again, it all depended upon the economic condition I was in. If my purse permitted me, I could go for a new one. Otherwise, I had to think twice before taking a final decision. Well considering my profession, I had to entirely depend upon my own savings or any car financing institution, to come to my rescue.
Again I had to decide, whether I had to purchase a luxury car or a small one.My family being small, it was better to have a small car than a luxurious one.Having decided to purchase a small car, I preferred to purchase a new car than an used car, because being a new consumer, I didn’t know the intricacies of purchasing an old one, because I had to entirely depend upon any reliable car mechanic to advice me in this regard.Besides, I might not have other benefits like warranty, free service coupons and other advantages of purchasing a new car.Hence, I had decided to go for a new one.
Now, I had to choose and decide the best brand for me.At the same time it should be economical and fuel efficient too.There were two best brands of new cars in the market.Of course, the latest addition, a small car from Tata, provided me with yet another choice.When I read about its features and inspected it personally in a Chennai car show room, I was not impressed with it, because there was absolutely no room or scope for flexibility.Hence, I had narrowed down my chance to three brands: Maruthi, Tata Indica and the Amabassador from the Birla group.
Even though Ambassador might be good idea, still I was not convinced, because it was an old brand, no scope for innovation, very few choices or options for selecting a model.Hence, I had now narrowed down the choice between Maruthi and Tata Indica. Though in both the models, I had the choice of choosing a car that runs through both by diesel or petrol, I wanted to choose a car that looked more modern, innovative and scope for conversion. I meant that it could be run by gas also, if possible.
Finally, I had chosen Tata Indica, for its compact look, economical price range, for its fuel efficiency and above all there being a scope for innovation in future. I meant that I could convert it as a vehicle that ran by gas.
In addition to the savings that I had, I had arranged for a bank loan through the car dealer and purchased a new Tata Indica that ran by diesel.I was also satisfied with the fuel efficiency of the car; with an added advantage, the car was in my favorite color, the cherry red. My whole family was in a joyful mood.
I think that I had successfully negotiated in purchasing a new car.
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Member
Posts: 16
Location: Same place, just 17 years later | Eww, wee! What's that smell? Is that money or funk? Judging by the last time I've been washed, I'm gonna go with funk.
Good luck, lady? You're about to slap three-thousand big ones on a fifteen-year old car. Ha-ha-ha, now who's the sucker now, yo?
Hey, hey, wait-a-minute, two-thousand dollars is your final offer?
Hey, lady, even I have my limits? You think you run stuff around here? Lady, you don't run nothing 'round here! We're talking premium gusto horsepower under this hood. I never had an accident. I never been towed! I don't stall...and how many fifteeen year olds can say that they're a virgin? That's right, I'm a virgin! I had one owner all my life and he only lent me to his kid sister for a day. She had to get a job at Dunkin Donuts or something.
So, anyway, my owner's kid sister gets the job right there on the spot. You know why don't you? Cause she showed up in me! Wouldn't you know it, the manager drives a Saturn too! Heh-heh-heh!
Nineteen-what? Aww...come on, come on. You're killing me, lady, I ain't got not scratches. This is my original coat, baby!
No, no, don't say it, don't say it...seventeen-five? And that's your final offer?
Did I mention I don't smoke? You know a car out there that doesn't smoke...I'm talking from the front end to the back end, you wont find no smoke blowin out my keister.
No, no, no. Not the single digits...nine-hundred and ninety-nine dollars?! Oh, ship. That's it...that's it. Wait til you get me home. You're asking for it. I'm gonna show you what nine-hundred and ninety-nine dollars worth of car will get you--nothing. You'll be sorry, lady. You just watch. I won't let you get away with this.
Hey, hey, watch were you put that hook down there.
Edited by LoReina 2009-09-27 1:52 AM
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New User
Posts: 2
| "Jeez, I think I remember my neighbor back when I was a kid had one of these old relics."
"Yeah, that's the problem with 'em nowadays...their good days are all just a memory."
I hear them as they walk by with the salesman and I can't help but think 'Sentient Being', my ass. What manner of 'Sentient Being' can honestly acknowledge my curvaceous fenders, my solid metal bumpers and my chrome, REAL CHROME, wheels with such a simple disregard for my history...my lore.
Back when I was built the assembly line workers were paid enough to give a shit; they took pride. At least before lunch. After lunch? Maybe not so much, but come on man, this is authentic American muscle your looking at brother, the good stuff, real honest to God pig iron. Born of the days when Detroit would ask for a paper clip and get plans for a B-52. You want a solid car that could plow through an obstacle rather then steer around it? That's me, baby. You want a solid car that can be put up in a barn for a couple of decades and only need some light re-finishing to bring maximum buck at the Barret-Jackson auto auction? That's me, baby. You want some wireless remote control, MP3 playing, anti lock braking, air bag restraining wussy mo-BEEL you go on down the street...this here is iron nut, full tread, in your face automobile history.
So next time you pass by with an air of disillusioned pity for 'That Poor Dinosaur' don't be surprised if I eat half your face off with my chrome plated metal grille or stomp your foot into a pancake with my pure rubber Polyglas tire. You friggin 'Sentient Being'.
"So you got anything with an automatic transmission and XM radio?"
"Yeah, but we'll have to go up to the front of the lot for that." | |
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New User
Posts: 3
| Don't do it--he's cut my brake lines! If you take those keys, human, you doom us both. If you allow yourself to be intoxicated by stream of honeyed venom this grinning maniac drips into your ear, you will never see another sunset. You seem like a nice enough kid, standing awkwardly in the tux you rented for prom and chattering your excitement to the bad man. I can see the flicker of doubt in your eyes from time to time, your common sense warring with impulsive greed.Take a moment to think, you silly young creature! This deal only sounds too good to be true because it is. For the first time since my theft this morning hope soars within me at the caution on your features.
"Sorry, no time for a test drive, I've got a bus to catch."
The madman's smile remains steady as he twirls the key ring idly around his index finger. "You only get one senior prom, kid. Do you want to be punctual and make your date roll in a ride that smells like hobo piss or do you want to be half an hour late and escort her in this chariot?"
I don't believe it, you're letting him get to you. Go! Catch your bus and forget you ever met this nutjob! Can't you smell the lies and the danger and the blood congealing in my trunk? Can't you smell the brake fluid? There is only one long winding road connecting this little mountain town to the highway and civilization. In my current condition, either direction on it will end with us careening off a cliff and into the dense forest below. You, me, and the corpse currently inhabiting my trunk will crash down to earth like a demented comet. Our mangled wreckage might not be found for weeks, months, years. This monster will have skipped over state lines by then. He might never get caught. Listen to your instincts, you can tell something is off about this guy! Stay strong, human, stay strong.
The madman senses he has you off balance and follows up on his advantage. "I'll probably regret this, but I'll shave another hundred bucks off the price if you'll reconsider. What do you have to lose?"
After a moment of tension that stretches into tiny eternities, the keys change hands, clinking together with all the metallic finality of a guillotine blade. You climb behind the wheel, dizzy at the good fortune that's befallen you, you don't notice that the seller's grin has adopted a distinctly feral edge.
Don't say I didn't warn you. | |
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New User
Posts: 1
| Take me. Take ME. You know you want to immerse yourself in my luxurious leather seats, to feel the wind in your hair with the top down, and to press the gas pedal down to floor on an open stretch of highway and see nothing but blurring scenery as we go streaking down the highway. Look at my shiny exterior - free of dents and scratches and accumulated dirt, so new and spotless and free from a history of minor bangs that I'll give you that feeling of possibility of being new and free all over again.
Ignore the numbers. They are just numbers. Its just money. You've got time on your side. How will you spend your time? Will it be with me, cruising on the highway, traveling to exotic locations like Newport on the coast? You can have that and more. You can have the envy of all other drivers as they stare, jaw open, at my futuristic design and my greater-than-thou hood ornament.
Are you joking? Is that all you're offering for me? Did I mention the warranty? You won't find that kind of guarantee anywhere else. And, you know, I really keep my value. (Not that you will ever want to get rid of me.) We will be partners: I will coddle you and protect you and give you heart palpitations every time you step to the car or go out for a spin. And this dealership you will bring me to will keep me in prime condition.
There you go. Make a counter-offer. Let them know that you are serious - that you really like me, but also that you are no fool. You've done your homework or else you wouldn't be here, at this lot, wanting me.
Wait! Wait! Wait! Don't be too hasty. They say that it is the best that they can do. Really. Don't walk away. Come back. We had a connection. You'll see. You'll be back. | |
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New User
Posts: 1
| Well, here comes another one. I can hardly believe my luck. If I had to endure one more person putting their unfamiliar, smelly ass on me one more time, I think I’m gonna lose it. But, then again, what can I do? I am just a car.
There are too many situations where I am unable to negotiate on my own behalf. Salespeople are only concerned with the dollar, but I truly care about the customer. Who the hell am I kidding? I don’t give a rat’s ass about the customer or the almighty dollar; I just care about me, and what’s in it for me.
Why did I have to turn out to be a Neon; a Neon? Come on! I should have been an Escalade… something large, and powerful. They wouldn’t let just anyone hop in me. They’d respect me! I’d be worth it, that’s for sure.
Alright, here we go… oh shit.
Get in lady; squeeze that fat ass in my seat… Oh God, what the hell did you eat for lunch? It smells like Mexican. Oh, you didn’t. Yes, you did… what the hell is wrong with you people? You don’t think that doesn’t smell. Your name’s gotta be Ms. Shitzalot, cause you smell like ass! I know you hear me; don’t pretend those squeaks are me getting all excited to have you testing the strength of my shocks. If that asshole salesman sells me to you, I’ll drive myself off a cliff.
Jesus, that was close… yeah, you just walk away Big Betty. You’re not worthy of such a fine machine. Ok, if I were a fine machine, you sure as shit wouldn’t be welcome here.
All I can say is that it’s a good thing they can’t put us cars on the clearance aisle in Wal-Mart, cause I’d be screwed. I just can’t do it; I can’t be sold to someone who doesn’t deserve me. Who am I kidding… I’m a nothing. I gotta get my shit together and get outta here. The next non-fat-smelly person to test drive me gets me.
Now, here comes a live one. Nice; not too heavy. I can smell them from here, smells good… like that bread factory next door to where I was made. The shoes look clean, that’s a plus. I think this one may be worth my trouble. If I could only get that putz, sales guy Jessie over here to make sure they take the bait… then we could get somewhere.
Alright, here we go boys… watch the master and see how it’s done. I’m gonna have this one eating out of my driver’s seat in the next 5 minutes – just wait! | |
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New User
Posts: 1
| A car's thoughts on negotiation.
Here comes the salesman, time to look sharp. Wiper's all the way down? Check. Radio set to easy listening? Check. Driver's seat in comfortable position? I hope so. Oh look at this guy. He ain't gonna buy me. He's just gonna test drive me and be on his way. Of course I can tell. He's wearing a Nirvana T-shirt and brown hippie sandals. I am a BMW for crying out loud, and the thought of having brown hippie sandals touching my gas pedal well it just makes my fuel filter shiver.
Stop kicking me! How would you like it if I kicked you? No don't agree to the test drive, no don't, no … oh dammit. The hippie is opening the door. Oh my word you smell like an ashtray! What are you doing? Don't open my hood, that's private! Now he's checking my oil. Please stop fondling my dipstick.
Ouch! HEY! Try closing the hood a little more gently! Jerk. Now I suppose they're going to drive me. Yup, I was right. The smelly hippie is going to drive me and leave. Buckle up Salesman, we're probably going to a drug deal. You'll sell us to anybody, won't you? Well I'll have you know, Mr. Salesman-of-the-month that we'll all probably end up on the evening news. The three of us killed in a drive by shooting when the son of Moby Grape here drives us through his gang filled neighborhood. That the life of a BMW should end in such a way!
Wait a minute? Where are you going? Hey buddy, the slums are that way! Were heading to a different part of town?
Oh my God! You live here? That's YOUR house? My, I mean your garage is huge! You even have a pool. Just think how I'll look parked next to a pool. You know, I've always liked you hippie fellas. Really I have. The music, the style, the aromas, it's all very fascinating. I was kidding about the hippie sandals you know. I am a BMW after all, we have that dry British wit. Yes Mr. Hippie-with-the-huge-house-and-garage feel free to smoke whatever you want inside of me. Now let's get back to the shop and I'll wait for you to fill out the forms. After that, my dream garage awaits!
Were back at the lot and I must say you park like a professional. Yes slam my doors roughly, it's quite all right. I understand your excitement. Hey what? What's that? What did you just tell the salesman?
You'd prefer the black Audi.
Lousy stinking hippie.
Edited by apershing 2009-09-30 7:58 PM
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Member
Posts: 7
| In the car yard
'Ouch, ouch, don't they know that that hurts. Why is it that every prospective buyer must, and I say again, must, kick my tyres. There is nothing wrong with them. The attendant checks them each morning and I like it when he has to put some air in, it gives me a lift. I like my daily bath, or it sometimes is only be a sponge over, but still, it makes me bright and shiny. Look at my price tag, 5500 dollars! It is worth every cent of it.
' I just heard one of the wanderers say, "I wonder if this rust bucket can really go." Now I ask you, can I go! Sure I can go. When I was put out on exhibition all those years ago my reputation was unsurpassed. The other big manufacturer could scarcely believe his ears when told of my acceleration powers. Skid marks, clouds of dust, donuts all over the tar surface have been my lot in past years. Let me tell you I would liked to have been chased by the biggest patrol wagon available to the local police. They would have had no hope of catching me. Broom, broom, clouds of exhaust fumes jetting out and I would have been away with a high pitched squeal of my ample tyres. I can see them just looking astounded. "How can a car go so fast in such a short time?" I would have made an excellent 'getaway' car. Alas, that was not to be.
'Wait a minute there is a scruffy looking person trying not to be noticed at the back of me. Now, he is what I would call a definite case for me realising my dreams. Without appearing to be observed he is summing me up. I can see his mind summing up my good points. Now, very casually checking my tyres, having a look at my speedometer reading, (I will admit that it is not too good), This could be my lucky day, he is asking for a look at my engine. Spick and span, is what I say, no oil leaks anywhere, fan belt tight, battery so-so, but adequate.
'Two hundred dollars! They must be joking! I'm worth more than that. In showroom condition I was worth a small fortune. I had real leather upholstery, (I still have, but showing signs of wear), you know, the really soft-to-touch stuff, Inside the car you could smell the extravagance, with the biggest ashtrays imaginable, the plushest carpets, and air conditioning that blasted hot or cold air all around the inside the car within seconds, at full blast it was unpleasant sitting in the jet stream, but that is how it was. Two hundred dollars! They are shaking hands. Hey wait a minute, negotiate, negotiate, just like you are supposed to. Don't get rid of me so easily.
'Ah, well I suppose beggars can't be choosers. Just think, I may get that getaway feeling after all, Scruffy looks the best chance I'll have now at my age. '
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A Car's Thoughts on Negotiation - 9/15
